Advice on ending 3 year on/off relationship!?

ive recently decided to end one of what i think was one of the most unhealthy relationships ive ever been in. when we broke up, we decided to still be friends, friends with "benefits" - big mistake...just hurt me even more. i finally realized one day that it was never gonna be the way it was, and i have decided to call it off completely, i hope i can stick to it this time! i still love him very much, after 3 years you cant blame me right?! but i am ready to MOVE ON! need advice on ways to stick to this, not let myself fall back into such an unhealthy relationship. I NEED TO FEEL EMPOWERED AS A WOMAN not to give in anymore!!! thanks for any advice!